Fridays Joke: Presents for an optimist and pessimist

A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each otherwas their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the otherthought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, theother claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite inevery way, one was an eternal optimist, the other a doom &gloom pessimist. Just to see what would happen, on the twins' birthday theirfather loaded the pessimist's room with every imaginable toyand game. The optimist's room he loaded with horse manure.That night the father passed by the pessimist's room andfound him sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly."Why are you crying?" the father asked."Because my friends will be jealous, I'll have to read allthese instructions before I can do anything with this stuff,I'll constantly need batteries, and my toys will eventuallyget broken." answered the pessimist twin.Passing the optimist twin's room, the father found himdancing for joy in the pile of manure. "What are you sohappy about?" he asked.To which his optimist twin replied, "There's got to be apony in here somewhere!"
As it's Xmas, one more I think A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. Thedoctor says, "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?"The mother says, "It's my daughter Darla, she keeps gettingthese cravings, she's putting on weight and is sick mostmornings."The doctor gives Darla a good examination then turns to themother and says, "Well,I don't know how to tell you this butyour Darla is pregnant - about 4 months would be my guess."The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can't be, she has neverever been left alone with a man! Have you Darla?"Darla says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man!"The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out it.About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, "Isthere something wrong out there doctor?"The doctor replies, "No, not really, it's just that the lasttime anything like this happened, a star appeared in the eastand three wise men came over the hill. I'll be darned if I'mgoing to miss it this time!"