Its been a couple of weeks since the last Fridays joke as I’ve been crazy busy recently. I have also been following the recents bits of info leaking out as ColdFusion 9 and Bolt ColdFusion Builder have been doing the rounds at the UG’s recently, so now is as good as time as ever to check out your local user group. Enjoy!

Paddy was working at the fish plant in Cork when he accidentally cut off all 10 of his fingers.

He went to the emergency room in Cork ’s hospital.

The doctor looked at Paddy and said, ‘Lets be avin’ da fingers and I’ll see what oi can do’.

Paddy said, ‘Oi haven’t got da fingers.’

‘Whadda ya mean you haven’t got da fingers? Lord Tunderin’ Jesus, it’s 2009! We’s got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could have put dem back on and made you like new! Why didn’t ya bring da fingers?!?’

And Paddy said, ‘ How da hell was I ’spose to pick them up !!!

With the annual release of Eclipse Galileo the CFEclipse team have pushed out its latest release of CFEclipse 1.3.4!.

This update brings compatibility with Eclipse 3.4 and Eclipse 3.5 along with:

• An updated CF8 Dictionary
• Some mild updates to the parser
• Mark occurrences of selected words (tag/variable/method/etc)
• Integration with Eclipse’s DocShare (optional)
• Preference for modifying the browse url on unit tests to run unit
  tests

Thats just the tip of the iceberg though, check out the full list here

Available from the update site get it now http://www.cfeclipse.org/update

Daisy, my 16 week old kitten has a tendency to jump and sit on my keyboard often shutting down programs, renaming files & folders to say the least. After googling a solution I found Cat Nip

a program which, while running, detects “cat-like typing” and locks the keyboard, usually in under a half second. Optionally, CatNip will fade your desktop and display a warning message to your cat (which is of dubious value, since if your cat can read, your cat can probably type, too).

There are mixed reports about whether Cat Nip works on Leopard, but for me so-far-so-good

A guy fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs.

He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns.

With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.

The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, ‘What good will Viagra do for him, doctor’?

The doctor replied, ‘It won’t do anything for his condition,but it’ll keep the sheets off his legs.’

Recentlty I wanted to bypass a network for a little bit of extra privacy, one of the best ways of doing this is SSH tunneling. If you don’t know what this I’ll give you the 100,000 ft view. Lets say your are on a restricted network with a firewall that prevents you reading technical blogs as they are classed as “social media” and seen as BAD. With tunneling via SSH you can connect to, say your home computer and use that connection.

You don’t have to do this from the terminal, there are tool out there for the Mac like SSH Tunnel Manager but as you’ll see this is just quicker and easier. With SSH installed on your machine go to the terminal/command prompt with the following script


ssh -ND {proxy port} {username}@{ip address of your remote machine}


Small, but powerfull. So if your remote/home machine that has the internet connection you want to use has the IP address of “79.1.2.3″ and your account on that machine had the username “bofh” your connection script would be:


e.g. ssh -ND 9999 bofh@79.1.2.3


The 9999 can be any port number you want. You just need to note it down for the next part, web browsing. For this I’m going to show you how to setup Firefox as its a setting you can do quickly and the same across OS’s

1. Every time you open a tunnel you’ll need to set the “Manual proxy configuration” which you can copy from the following screen shot
   
   
   The ‘9999′ value is what ever port you set in the terminal script.
2. The next bit you’ll only need to do once. In your Firefox address bar go to about:config and set network.proxy.socks_remote_dns = true

Thats it!

If you’re not able to make it to one of the Scotch on the Rocks venues make sure you follow the events via twitter by using http://search.twitter.com/search?q=sotr

Also if you are at the event make sure you add #SotR09 to your tweets!

This is a shout out to anyone attending Scotch on the Road!

Conferences are a great place to network but with the amount of developers attending you might miss the chance to ping a question, or buy me them a beer. Also with Scotch being in 3 different places this year saying you’re going isn’t enough.

So in an effort to put bloggers/twitter’ers together leave a comment here letting everyone know your name, blog and/or twitter account, and the venue you’re attending!

For the record I’m at the London event this year, and my twitter account where I tend to ramble, rant, talk crap is twitter.com/andyj

Wahey, its looking like a BBQ weekend here in the UK. Have a good one, and I’ll see some of you Monday at Scotch on the Road. Enjoy!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
” Because I said so, that’s why.”

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me..”

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

7. My mother taught me IRONY
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA..
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

13.. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
“Stop acting like your father!”

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
“You are going to get it when you get home!”

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE..
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”

19. My mother taught me ESP.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.

If you have a Mac then you might of heard of Panic. Their FTP program, Transmit, is brilliant and ever since owning a mac its been my program of choice. Also they offer Coda which is a slick IDE for web work.

Well they are having a 50% three day sale and for $14.50 Transmit is well worth the price.

Check out https://www.panic.com/sale/

With a bottle of scotch and a free ticket, sponsored by talkwebsolutions.co.uk, to one of the scotch on the rocks ‘09 venues, can I have a drum roll please … The Scotch on the Rocks competition winners are

First
Tara McLean {no site given} Look out for an email from me!

Second
Pablo Vos http://www.outofsite.eu

Third
Azadi Saryev {no site given}