Fridays Joke: Tom, Dick, Harry & the Cannibals

One thing made me laugh this week was just checking my spam box and noticed in the "web clips" that I get spam recipes such as Ginger Spam Salad. Though I gotta say I don't think I have ever eaten the stuff.
Well I've got three jokes this week, only one long one but the others made me laugh, though they also warned me how bad my sense of humour is as well. Enjoy!

What's green and smells like yellow paint?
Green paint.
Honestly this killed me!

One I hadnt actually seen before, and I don't know how i ever missed it has gotta be the best blonde joke ever.



Final joke, and I promise its better than the first two (depending on your warped sense of humor)

Tom, Dick and Harry are on a plane when there is an emergency and it crashes on an island. They're horrified to find its populated with cannibals.
They're taken before the Chief of the cannibal tribe who tells the three men that if they pass two trials, then they will be allowed to live and no-one will eat them.
"Trial one" instructs the Chief, "Is to go into the jungle and find ten pieces of fruit"

Tom, Dick & Harry run off in frantic search of fruit to appease the tribe.

Tom returns with 10 apples.
The chief then tells him "Trial Two. You must now stick all ten up your bum without making a sound. One noise and I kill you."
So tom, eager to survive, lowers his pants and takes the first apple and inserts it into his rectum with a grimace on his face. After some strain, the apple enters, but the second apple causes Tom to scream and the chief promptly stabs him, killing him.


Dick emerges from the jungle and sees his friend dead. The chief then informs him of the conditions of trial two and asks Dick what he brought back. Dick opens his hand and shows 10 small berries.
Dick, like his now deceased friend before him, lowers his trousers and begins to insert the fruit.
All is going well, he has 9 up his butt when suddenly he begins to laugh. The chief stabs him and he dies.


Tom and Dick are sitting on a cloud up in heaven when Tom says "I gotta ask mate, you were doing so well... why on earth did you laugh?"


Dick turns to his friend and replies, "I looked toward the jungle and there was Harry with a handfull of pineapples."